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Editor's Note: Take a look at our featured best practice, Consulting Project Management Leadership & Team Effectiveness (51-slide PowerPoint presentation). The objective of this module is to focus on some interpersonal skills so that you can enhance relationships with your clients and team members. The first step toward becoming an effective consultant is to understand yourself. Learning to effectively work on teams is critical to how we work at [read more]
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People often assume that conflict is always negative. This is not true! People are inherently different, and conflict simply happens when those differences come to light. Viewing conflict in this way can help us maximize the possible positive outcomes of the problem at hand. Equipped with a conflict resolution process, people can explore and understand those differences, and use them to interact in a more positive, productive way. Hence the following statements need to be thought of in terms of being false or true:
Conflict is always negative.
This statement is false. Although conflict is often unpleasant, it can be a catalyst for positive changes.
Conflict is always violent.
This statement is false. When managed properly, conflict can be peaceful and productive.
Conflict is inevitable.
This statement is true. Conflict occurs whenever two or more people interact. In fact, it’s even possible to have an inner conflict with yourself.
Anyone can experience conflict.
This statement is also true. Conflict happens to everyone, so it is important to be prepared.
The Random House Dictionary defines conflict as:
“To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash.”
Some examples of conflict can include:
Conflict can also be healthy. Think about how conflict will increase motivation and competitiveness in these scenarios.
These types of drivers can result in greater success, whether “success” means a better product, better teamwork, better processes, lower prices, trophies, or medals.
Remember, everyone experiences conflict, but how you deal with it, is what matters.
The term “conflict resolution” simply means how you solve conflicts. Although there are many processes available, we have developed one process that you can adapt for any situation. You will even be able to use these tools to prevent conflict and to help others work through conflict.
Some common conflict resolution terms include:
Conflict can come in many forms, and our process will help you in any situation. Although we have outlined the various conflict resolution phases in a particular order and with a particular grouping, that doesn’t mean that you have to use all the phases all the time.
There are five widely accepted styles of resolving conflicts. These were originally developed by Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann in the 1970’s. We have even designed our conflict resolution process so that it can be used in conjunction with these styles.
Although we promote the collaborative style in general, there are instances where it is not appropriate (for example, it may be too time-consuming if the issue is relatively insignificant). Understanding all five styles and knowing when to use them is an integral part of successful conflict resolution.
Collaborating
With the collaborating approach, the parties work together to develop a win-win solution. This approach promotes assertiveness (rather than aggressiveness or passiveness).
This style is appropriate when:
This style is not appropriate when:
Competing
With a competitive approach, the person in conflict takes a firm stand. They compete with the other party for power, and they typically win (unless they’re up against someone else who is competing!) This style is often seen as aggressive, and can often be the cause of other people in the conflict to feeling injured or stepped on.
This style is appropriate when:
This style is not appropriate when:
Compromising
With the compromising approach, each person in the conflict gives up something that contributes towards the conflict resolution.
This style is appropriate when:
This style is not appropriate when:
Accommodating
The accommodating style is one of the most passive conflict resolution styles. With this style, one of the parties in conflict gives up what they want so that the other party can have what they want. In general, this style is not very effective, but it is appropriate in certain scenarios.
This style is appropriate when:
This style is not appropriate when:
Avoiding
The last approach is to avoid the conflict entirely. People who use this style tend to accept decisions without question, avoid confrontation, and delegate difficult decisions and tasks. Avoiding is another passive approach that is typically not effective, but it does have its uses.
This style is appropriate when:
This style is not appropriate when:
Finally, let’s close by some Words from the Wise:
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” – William Ellery Channing
“Conflict is the beginning of consciousness.” – Esther Harding
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carl W. Buechner
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