Challenge Day 10: Ten Tips to Grow More Positive

Editor's Note: Take a look at our featured best practice, Self Leadership (64-slide PowerPoint presentation). Self-leadership puts together taking responsibility for our outcomes, setting direction for our lives, and having tools to manage priorities. Self-leaders work at all levels of an organization. They are front-line workers in every possible role, middle managers, and CEOs. Self-leaders like Walt [read more]

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Editor’s note: This is part of  30-day challenge series written by Hanane Anouna.   You can follow along and read the full series here.

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Being positive does not mean that your life is all apple pies and golf courses. Being positive means that you accept where you are, the situation or the challenge you are faced with, and you do your best to get where you would like to be. It is true that it takes courage to be positive when everything is negative but being negative has never changed or improved anything, except that it will attract more negative situations.

We are all experiencing these days tough moments, stress, frustration, pain, anxiety; some are even depressed, overwhelmed and cannot see the end of the tunnel.

All these emotions are very normal. Some people may need more time to accept and move on, others may be less. But what is not normal is to extend these emotions of resistance and anger, and turn them into a state of mind until they become embedded in your subconscious and just part of who you are.

The 10 tips below combine some of the subjects discussed in the previous articles as growing more positive is not about a magical formula but it implies a personal investment and commitment.  

10 Tips to Grow More Positive

1. Find a Sense of Purpose or Define Clear Goals

A mind that wanders has never been a satisfied mind. Have you ever seen someone with a positive attitude who wakes up every day with no plan for the day and no goal to attain?

 What about you? What are the five things you would like to achieve or to improve this year?

2. Change your Thinking Patterns

Most people are able to see the trees but not the forest. They look at their problems but not the patterns of thoughts that created those problems. If you are struggling with the same issues for many years, then you may need to start observing these patterns or the causes that are feeding them. It can be a limiting belief holding you back without being conscious of it like believing that “I don’t have the skills.” Sometimes, you need to change one limiting belief to change your whole life, which will allow you to find the inner resources and create a complete new identity.

What are the 5 things that are holding you from doing what you want? Is it your confidence, your skills, your environment? What will be your life if you get rid of these things?

3. Focus on the Things You Can Control

People get trapped easily because they waste their time and energy focusing on the things they cannot control instead of what they can control. You may not control this pandemic, people’s reactions, the loss of your job but you can control your attitude, your nutrition, and your habits. There will always opportunities for those who know how to turn their pain into gain.

What are the 5 things you cannot control that you need to stop stressing about them?

4. Transform Your Negative Self-talk into Positive Self-talk

There are a lot of self-help techniques that can empower you to turn these negative affirmations into positive ones. Our thoughts can be shifted with intentional focus. To stop these self-talks, you need to stop feeding them.

Take a challenge and go through this mental diet for at least one week: stop all sorts of negative thoughts, self-blame, gossiping, or criticism. Focus more on the solutions than the problems. Don’t let your mind wander, doubt, or judge.

The aim is to train your mind for more self-control and your will be amazed by the results. It worked for me and it should work for you as well.

5. Focus on the Positive Side of Things

There is always a positive side of everything even in the most challenging situations.  When you focus on what you have rather than on what you don’t have, you enhance your optimism and positivity. Focus gives you a sense of purpose; it is the fuel that will keep you moving in the right direction. But it is easy to get caught in the trap of focusing on negative aspects. It is for  this reason that embracing an optimistic view will help you spot more positive opportunities.

A gratitude map can empower you. Write down at least 10 things you are most grateful for?

6. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Surround yourself with people who share the same values and the same beliefs. “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You will both get dirty and the pig will like it.”

Make a list of those who drag you down or are simply toxic to you, which one you need to eliminate?

7. Learn from Failures

We all make mistakes and we all fail in life. To move on, you need to stop blaming others or yourself for being in that situation and take responsibility, and focus on what you want to achieve and not what you lost. Make plans to be healthier, learn new skills, and simply add value from within

What are the 5 mistakes or failures you had during the last three years and what are the learnings?

8. Avoid Disruption

To avoid disruption, you will have to make a filter all along your way to keep an eye on   the things, events, news, content that are in line with your goals, especially in an   era where we are bombarded on a daily basis of texts, and messages. When you connect yourself into a channel that reports bad news, murders, rapes, etc., then how can you be positive?

 Observe your habits and try to identity all the sources of your disruption.

9. Practice Mindfulness

A lot of people are either depressed because they are unable to get detached from what happened in the past or anxious as they are worried about the future. They end up being nowhere. Your life happens now.

Practicing mindfulness on a daily basis  will enable you to develop mind control to counter your negative thoughts with uplifting ones.

10. Forgive Others

Hate is easy, it is really for the weak. Hate will cripple you to see the good in others and the good side of your life. Hate will put you in a very low vibrations and will hurt you more than anyone else.

That’s why forgiving does not mean that you forget the lesson or allow people back to your life. It just means that you get rid of all negative emotions and move on. Not forgiving will not change anything but forgiveness can improve your life.

Who are the people you need to forgive and move on?

When you learn to see the good in everything; when your heart is full of love, and gratitude; when your vibrations are high and positive:

• You will see miracles. Yes, you will experience new open doors despite closed opportunities. You will see solutions even in complicated circumstances.
• You will wake up with a joy that no one can comprehend even in the middle of big frustrations.
• You will feel secure independently of the situation as your life does not depend on anyone, anything but your own thoughts and emotions.
• The moment you understand the power of your thoughts on your life, you will never ever dare to use the words of defeat.

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