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The Art of Being Oneself

seussBeing oneself has become a great Challenge nowadays. We are more concerned about people’s thinking and judgments rather than being honest and searching for an independent identity. We are more likely to listen to the noise of the others instead of following our intuition and aspiration. Being oneself has never been a weakness but a wonderful way to make a difference. Being oneself sets you from the CROWD and can be a great opportunity of your inner GROWTH.

“Will you follow a dogma or will you be original? Will you choose the life of ease or a life of service and adventure? Will you wilt under criticism or will you follow your convictions? Will you bluff it our when you are wrong or will you apologize?” – Jeff Bezos

More, will you let your status define you or will you stay humble and preserve your uniqueness? Will you follow the crowd to fit easily or will you DARE to maintain your rarity? Are you searching to become a person of SUCCESS or a person of VALUE?

The answer is simple:

“Your time is limited; don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of others’ people thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown your inner voice.” – Steve Jobs

Why do you think is it so important of being oneself? What are the benefits and the added value of living in accordance with our values and convictions?

You Build Trust

Being honest is being truthful and sincere in our thoughts and actions; it does not mean obviously to be rude and disrespectful. Ideally, it is the balance between being brutally honest and knowing when to restrain. When you are Honest, you leave a Good Impression; these two elements proved to be fundamental for building TRUST and long lasting relationships. Many people are concerned mainly about building great relations with a close eye on Return On Investment (ROI) while the essence of maintaining these relations is TRUST.

A survey by David Halpern, a British psychologist, reveals that only 34% of Americans believe they can trust others. In Latin America, this figure is only 23% and in Africa it drops to 18%. However, 68% of the Scandinavians (Denmark, Sweden, and Norway) and 60% of the Dutch believe they can trust their fellow citizens. This proves that there are countries with high level of trust and low level of trust, which implies also that every single person in each country is contributing indirectly to these figures without being conscious of it.

All relations, at the personal and professional levels, are all based on TRUST. Have you ever managed to achieve something without trust?

“Ask yourself without mercy: do I inspire confidence; think about it deeply.” – Tomp Peters

“Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up to perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.” –  The Light Workers Academy

You Maintain Character Stability

The secret of character stability is to be coherent between inner intention and our action. This can be achieved only when we are honest and strive to do what is right independently of the circumstances and people. That’s why it does not matter if you action is appreciated or not as long as it is right and you hold a good intention. The intention here is simply the WHY that motivates you to do something, which can have a great impact on TRUST. But be careful as a good intention can be communicated in a wrong way and then can lead to misunderstanding and confusion.

From professional perspective, many researches revealed that the success of many companies like Apple and Nike did not rely on the nature of their products and services they provide, but mainly on the WHY they do things.

You Develop Your Own Uniqueness

Most people are so concerned about people’s judgments that they forget about what they really want and how they would like to act. This was a great challenge to me until I decided to take one big step forward and focus on what I really want to become. I am conscious that it will be an eternal battle, but my goal to end up winner.  It takes courage nowadays to live and behave in accordance with their values and convictions. It takes courage to do what we really believe in independently of the situations.  It takes courage to preserve one’s identify and persevere in this world.

The most striking example is when people are blessed financially. Most often, instead of developing their uniqueness and raising their standards, they raise their pride and arrogance. They leave their status define them instead of building their own style of management if they have any of course. Result: they build walls and create more distance around them which is nothing but an accelerating way that cripples communication and trust.

The Anglo-Saxon countries (United Kingdom, USA, and Canada) and the Scandinavian countries (Sweden, Norway, Denmark, etc.) have a lower hierarchical DISTANCE according to Geert Hofstede in his power distance dimension maps of the world. Most of these countries, as discussed above, are also with the highest level of TRUST; and they are the ones with high score of long term orientation and indulgence too. That’s why these societies are more likely to accept change and focus on Education as a major way to enhance their future. To learn more about these six dimensions, here a link that can provide you with a comparison between Morocco, France, and Canada: https://geert-hofstede.com/morocco.html.

Being oneself and striving to maintain our uniqueness can save us from many cultural constraints that can hinder our personal development as well as the national growth. The question here is how can we shift from this inherited ideology to focus on our future development? Are we able to go beyond these limits to make this change happen and enhance trust around us?

“It takes courage to let go the Familiar and embrace the new”  – Anonymous

You Contribute to a Positive Management

When you are honest, you build trust; and when you build trust, you get closer to your team and you don’t need any anymore to maintain a power distance. Having a close relationship with your team is not a threat to your authority because the only authority that you need to nurture is RESPECT. It is more powerful and long lasting as it is based on trust, clear communication and a CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. This way, you don’t only develop a positive management but you also create JOY and happiness around you. 

According to the Great Place to Work (GPTW) of February 2014, only 30% of employees go to work with a deep sense of joy and happiness. Importantly, quality of work life has been ranked third in the top 6 HRD assignments of 2020. It is time I think to change things.   The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the NEW” Socrates. “The brain can be managed by routine, according to Piere-Marie Lledo, director of the department of neuroscience at the Pasteur Institute. So, it’s time to embrace a change.

Being honest and building trust are no longer a personal matter as it may involve the future of other generations and can impact the development of our country.

Be yourself, do not let the world make you tough, do not let deceptions make you hate. Do not let the past steal your future. Be unique, be true, be honest, be humble, and be happy.

About Hanane Anoua

Based in Morocco, Hanane Anoua is a certified life and executive coach, mentor, entrepreneur, and passionate writer with more than 13 years of professional experience. You can connect with Hanane on LinkedIn here.

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